Welcome to my lair. I shall be called The Procrastinator in near future when I take over the world. But since I am, in fact, the Procrastinator, I won't take over the world because I have other things to do. So you can call me Meon. Or Martin. Or you can call me... Marty... no wait, this is not a Cabin Pressure Character, really, you can call me Martin if you like, or Meon. ...or Martin. err... I am something between a maniac, evil genius (without really being a genius) and a human genderqueer brit-loving umbrella-carrying deerstalker-wearing book-devouring gent. Don't be afraid, I can be nice and evil. Whatever shakes your boat.
Guys, let me tell you about orcas.
Orca whales are mean motherfuckers. They cruise the oceans with only two things in mind: one, having sex, and two, eating every poor fuck they find out there that’s smaller than them. They are such badass motherfuckers that even great white motherfucking sharks don’t dare fuck with them, which in my books, places them above the sperm whale as Biggest Badass of the Ocean. And why don’t sharks bother them, you may wonder? Because orcas fucking learned that if you flip a shark over they go into a sort of coma, so now they do it intentionally so they can eat the motherfucking sharks. Not only that, but orcas have also learned how to hunt sperm whales and motherfucking sea birds.
The orca whale lives in a matriarchal pod. Every pod has unique hunting methods and whatnot, which is passed down from parent to offspring- these scary fuckers have formed civilizations. And what do they do for fun, apart from hopping around on the water’s surface and grinning like crazy mofos? They hunt for fun, going so far as to tip over ice floes and beach themselves just for the thrill of killing.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Orca whales are too damn cute and smiley looking to be heartless predators of the sea. Well, let me counter-argue with this photo:
THOSE ARE NOT THE TEETH OF A CREATURE THAT WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND.
(via endiness)